Keeping It in the Family Business
by AlistairsPocketwatch
Summary: Sam's been acting off, and Dean wants to get to the bottom of it. Confessions slowly start to come out, until they realize that one more issue in their fucked-up lives isn't going to be a problem. WARNING: WINCEST (Yes, incest), swearing, blah blah blah...rating may get higher if I choose to do more chapters.


Just what the fuck was up with him? Sam hadn't talked to him for the entire journey. Not about their next job, nothing. He had done it after the Andrea and Lucas job and he was doing it again now, just after they'd saved Cassie from the truck. Dean elbowed him and Sam growled.

"What rammed itself up your ass? C'mon, we just saved people!" Sam shot a deadly look at him before returning to the window. Was there any other times Sam had acted like this? Oh yeah, the shape shifter that had morphed into Dean. None of it made sense. Sure, Sam had looked different with the shape shifter, more awkward than angry, but tonight he was fuming.

Dean pulled the car over at the side of the road. It was a pitch black country lane with not another soul in sight.

"What, the actual fuck, is wrong with you, Sam?" Dean growled, turning to him. Sam stared out of the window.

"Nothing. Not having this conversation." Dean slammed his hand down on the dash.

"Don't give me that crap! We are! Look at me!" Sam shook his head, turning even further away. Dean grabbed the wheel, lowered his head down on to it, and sighed. He knew he wasn't going to get anywhere with Sam when he was shouting and raving.

"Please. I hate it when you give me the dog house treatment. I don't even know what I've done wrong." Sam shook his head.

"Nothing. It's me. I'm thinking, sorting my head out, and it's best if I stay shut up. I know it looks like I hate you right now, but I don't, I'm just being a jerk. Sorry." Dean stopped and stared at him. Sam was still gazing out of the window.

"You trust me, don't ya?" Sam nodded. "Then let me help. Is it about Jess?" It would explain Dean and the girls, but not the shape shifter. Sam shook his head, swallowing hard.

"No, it's not. It's…I'm fine about that now, really. But I…" He paused momentarily. "I just can't tell you." Dean didn't want to push him, but needed answers. This secluded stuff had gone on for too long now.

"Why not?" The car was silent for a minute or two, Sam trying to find the words. Dean waited patiently, expecting to get an answer to that at least. Sam swallowed again and when Dean looked over, he was visibly shaking.

"Sam, are you…"

"Because you'll hate me." Sam sighed. "I'm a freak already. I'm cursed, I know that. Mom and Jess prove that. But why I'm angry? I doubt you'd ever trust me again. You'd be disgusted. And I don't want to…to lose you." Dean watched as Sam's fingers clenched at the Impala's musky leather seats.

"Do you know how terrified I get?" Sam hissed through clenched teeth. Dean could hear the words catching in his throat; Sam was close to tears.

"I keep thinking that one day, I'm going to wake up, and it's going to be you on the motel room ceiling. Your blood dripping down my face. You bursting into flames. And it's not like the old days. I can't run into bed with you to make sure your okay and to get hugs because I'm meant to be a man now and I just can't…" Sam put his arms up on the steamed up window and lay into them, sobbing. Dean stared awkwardly, not knowing how to react at first. Sam still hadn't told him the full problem, but Dean knew there was fear of rejection, that Sam wanted to be as close to him again as they once were. He understood. Understood that Sam was still that little boy, his little brother, that was terrified of the dark and wanted hugs and reassurance.

Dean laid a hand slowly and gently on Sam's back, before rubbing it in soothing circles.

"Sam, no matter what you told me, no matter what happened; I would never be disgusted with you. And we may be older now, but you're still my little brother…" Sam scoffed at that.

"That's half the problem." Dean was confused, but carried on regardless.

"I'm not going anywhere. Not because of the thing that killed mom and not because of you. I'm always gonna trust you, and for the last time, you're not a freak!" Sam took a deep breath, before sinking down in his seat, still looking out of the damned window. He looked crushed and defeated and weak and Dean didn't like seeing him like it.

It was a sudden urge, a sudden movement where Dean leaned over and pulled the broken Sam into a hug. Sam was surprised at first; Dean certainly wasn't the greatest at showing affection, but Sam couldn't resist the urge to hug him back. It was a rare experience after all, something Sam wished he could have more of.

"You're the smart, empathetic one who knows what he's doing and how to get it." Dean uttered calmly and quietly. "I'm the idiot who dropped out of school, shoots some stuff and waits for you to rescue me. I am literally pathetic." Sam chuckled at that. Wendigo flashbacks. Follow the M and M's.

"You may be a freak of nature, not that I see you that way, but dude, I'm a freak of society." Dean admitted. "I've never fitted in. And having you here really makes a difference, because I'm not alone in that anymore. And I wish it could have been different. You could have gone on to become a fancy lawyer. I wish you had, but you didn't and now you're stuck with me." Sam suddenly lurched back, and Dean stopped, worried he'd said something wrong. Chick flick moments really weren't his thing and he knew it.

"Wait, you're meaning to tell me you felt alone?" Dean gritted his teeth. He hadn't meant to admit that. "What about all those girls?" Dean shrugged.

"Couldn't keep them, could I? They were entertainment. They were to pass the time. Fight it off for a while. Short term."

Sam couldn't believe what he was hearing. Dean, lonely? No…but it made sense. John had never really taken an interest in either of them, and Dean couldn't hold relationships like Sam once had; he was on the road too much. Sam sighed.

"Well…" he whispered. "I could always be a full time partner…" Dean heard him whisper, but couldn't make out what he was saying.

"What was that?"

"Nothing." Dean shook his head.

"So now you know I'm not gonna hate you, will you tell me what's up?" He went to go start the car again when Sam batted his hand away from the key.

"Sure, but you won't want to be driving when I do; you'll crash." Dean raised an eyebrow.

"Hit me."

Sam took a deep breath, trying to formulate the words in his mind. What did he learn about speaking about awkward cases formally in college? Oh, how did it go…?

"Jealousy. Jealousy is the problem. Of…of Cassie." Dean cocked his head slightly. He still wasn't getting it. Time to switch tactics.

"I saw you kiss her. I saw the way you kissed her. Love and devotion and yeah, you get it. I…" Sam sighed, staring out of the window once more.

"I wanted to be her. With you." Dean grinned.

"Wait, so you wanted to kiss me?" He asked, as if it were some kind of joke. His grin was cut short when Sam gave one quick, curt nod.

Sam wanted him? But they were…oh. _Oh. _That's why Sam had thought that Dean would be disgusted, he got it now. Dean sighed. Oh fuck. He had just made it look like he didn't take Sam seriously.

Sam had cured the loneliness. He had too missed the nights where Sam would crawl in beside him and grip onto him. Cassie was good, he had loved Cassie, but he couldn't keep her. Sam, now Sam, he could keep. He nodded slowly.

"When did this start?" Sam shrugged.

"There was a bit of it before I moved out. I just kept catching things, you with your shirt off, your grins, your laughs. I told myself it was wrong. I got with Jess when I moved out, and I loved her. But then you came back. I left her to help you. And I spent that day with you, and found all your charm again. I was scared of the Woman in White, because even though I hadn't cheated on Jess…I wanted to." He shrugged again. The car seemed incredibly cold and dark, so Dean switched on some more of the interior lights and turned the heating on.

"I could say more but I won't."

"Do it. Say it. Get it all out now; I'm not gonna judge you." Sam nodded once more, lazily drawing on the steamed window with one finger.

"I got jealous of the girls you were with. I wanted to know what it was like to be with you. I started imagining it, started dreaming about it. It's one of the many reasons I left for college." Dean tapped his fingers on the steering wheel. So Sam fantasized about him…okay.

"It's not like I haven't dreamt about you like that." Dean commented, before realising what he had said and that Sam was staring in disbelief. He had said it; he might as well explain himself.

"Yeah, I mean, it's normal. Well, it isn't but…it became a regular thing. I slept with loads of girls, and I still do, but it's not for the reason you think." Dean sighed, and took a break before speaking again.

"I do it to…distract myself. From you." He glared at the wheel. "You grew up. Grew into yourself. Became tall, toned…hot. You were smart too. And blow me if you're not getting hotter by the day." Dean closed his eyes. Sam watched every move he made, waiting to see if there was a hint of a lie between his confessions. There was nothing.

"When you joined me again, you made me laugh, you made me happy. That fight we had in your apartment when I snuck in, it was the most fun I'd had in years. I went to you because I trusted you. I knew you wouldn't let me down." He finally turned to look at Sam, big green eyes and bitten lip.

"You may have been jealous of the whores I was with, but you had it good. I was jealous of Jess." Sam's eyes widened in surprise, and before he quite understood, his lips were pushing harshly into Dean's. He smiled.

"Because we're not fucked up at all." Dean shrugged.

"People thought we were anyway. What's one more issue gonna do?" He pulled Sam in for another kiss. Sam was obviously dominating him, but Dean couldn't have cared less. It got more passionate and heated, tongues exploring each others lips, hums of happiness and content. Sloppy perfection.

Once they managed to separate, Sam laid back in satisfaction.

"I feel so much better, but tired. Motel?" He asked. Dean smiled.

"Sure. And Sammy?" Sam's head turned at the nickname. Dean grinned, before squeezing his hand.

"You can cuddle me in bed tonight." Sam finished writing on the window and Dean rolled his eyes. A love heart with their initials and a plus sign. Dean started the car.

About halfway to the motel, Sam grinned.

"Can you imagine the look on Dad's face if he had heard any of that?" Dean turned to Sam. They locked eyes for two seconds, before both of them erupted into laughter.

"He'd fucking die!"

…

HOW DID I DO?

Oh, and if you want another chapter, I'm open to suggestions. :3 I'd probably set it in the motel room or in a later series, though that may take me a while as I don't have much time and I'm re-watching the show. Halfway through Season 1.

Reviews are appreciated!


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